due to a rush of uncontrollable emotions, i made mistake after mistake... i went to this new world looking for a lost love. but under the confusion that my mind is and the jumble that my emotions are, i lost control of myself and most importantly, i lost what i went there for... her.
nonetheless, it was an interesting experience in this new world, indeed new and growing. met some interesting people, got some bad advice, got some good advice and spent more money than i had.
it has been nearly a week that i've come back, and in 3 days i will be back on the other side of the world, reunited with my family for what i hope to be comforting and clarifying.
my trip to the country of this monKey's beautiful tree served as a painful lesson. all i want now is to start organising myself and become someone greater... so that hopefully she will see my true self and allow me back into her heart. i have chosen a new path for my life, and that involves devotion of which i've never had before... all because of her. nevertheless, i am aware that anything can happen, and i am prepared for anything... even for yet another heart break, if it comes to that... but i hope the best will come of it, for never have i seen such clarity in my life as i do now.
with the help of those around me, i hope to achieve this great goal i've set. and when i get there, i will let you know.
anyhow, lesson learned and back in the country of the rising sun.
not 24 hours passed and there i was again on an airplane... but this time domestic.
we headed to the west, where we met with an old friend. although in 福岡市 for only 3 days, it was the peak of my journey. still suffering a bit from my loss, i met wonderful people who i could chat to about life and everything... people who showed me that all is not yet lost, people who showed me their devotion to life and how they plan to achieve it; a student, a mother, a friend and a short bus ride.
now back at 青木さん s house, completely broke and with an IOU larger than my thick head, i am counting the days to go back to my own home and get things on the move. and somehow i must control my anxiety and keep reminding myself that "the world wasn't built in a day"... patience is (the mother of all) virtue(s). and as i have recently read, "confidence, perseverance, courage, all three in place, then the world is not impossible to do things".
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